I know it has been a while since i last posted but i need to tell someone about what is going through my head even if i don't know who you are.

I don't think i have ever felt so alone, i have noone to talk to about how i feel, i am so lonely and confused about what to do. I am so sick and tired of being the "black sheep" in my family, the one who lets everybody down. I admit i have no talents and i hardly ever do what my mum and dad tell me to do, i have a big attitude problem, but does that mean i should feel this alone? My sister tells me i am annoying and she has told me that she wishes i did not exsist and i can not even count how many times she has told me that she hates me. What she does not understand is that she is lucky, she gets 1000 KR every week, I get maxium 10 KR, I am jelous of her. It is not as if she is 18 or even 16, she is just 14 and i am 13 but there is a big different between us. My brother has always been the favourite, the amazing football star that can do nothing wrong in my mum's opinion, he gets whatever he wants without even saying please.

 

Somedays are really good, i am as happy as can be but others i can cry all day, my mum says it is hormones and brushes it under the carpet but i know that she does not want to notice that i am not happy. Giving my mum credit she does try to cheer me up but it never works and My dad just sees my bad attitude.

 

There is noone i can talk to. I just don't belong anywhere is seems.

 

I don't know what i should do... How i will ever feel better and when i will.